Current Mood: 
BLANK
BLANK4 comments | COMMENT?
FARNAMALS @ LIVEJOURNAL
2% FACT 98% RUBBISH
This blog contains 2% fact 98% rubbish and is best viewed with a wicked sense of humour and in Mozilla Firefox. If you are looking for manners, properly structured sentences and some form of sanity, I'm sorry to tell you, my friend, that you're not going to find them here.
12 November 2009 @ 01:12 am
08 November 2009 @ 03:30 am
My conversation with my boyfriend five minutes ago went like this:-
Boyfriend: Wouldn't it be funny if we name our child Brachiosaurus?! Brachiosaurus Bin Mohd Saliheen. Hahahahaha!
Me: Why the fuck would you want to name your child Brachiosaurus?!
Boyfriend: Do you even know what a Brachiosaurus is???
Me: YA. It's a dinosaur.
Boyfriend: Ya, but what kind of dinosaur? Is it a herbivore, carnivore or omnivore?
Me: Herbivore.
Boyfriend: Correct! It's the one with the long neck...
Me: I KNOW WHICH ONE LAH. Takmu step pandai dengan aku ah.
Boyfriend: Haha! Then do you know what's an omnivore?!
Me: Ya. Eat both plants and meat. A bit obvious right? Herbivore eat plants only, carnivore eat meat... Omnivore eat both lah.
Boyfriend: Nooooo. Mana tau omnivores never eat plants or meat.
Me: If never eat plants, and never eat meat, then eat what?!
Boyfriend: (long pause) ...gula gula.
Hahahahahaha! Fucker nampak sah knew he said the wrong thing the minute he nak step argumentative and protest that "mana tau omnivores never eat plant or meat" !!! He himself admit that he tried to cover his blunder up TETAPI FAIL.
WTF GULA GULA!
And yes, our conversations at 3am almost never will make sense, one.
Boyfriend: Wouldn't it be funny if we name our child Brachiosaurus?! Brachiosaurus Bin Mohd Saliheen. Hahahahaha!
Me: Why the fuck would you want to name your child Brachiosaurus?!
Boyfriend: Do you even know what a Brachiosaurus is???
Me: YA. It's a dinosaur.
Boyfriend: Ya, but what kind of dinosaur? Is it a herbivore, carnivore or omnivore?
Me: Herbivore.
Boyfriend: Correct! It's the one with the long neck...
Me: I KNOW WHICH ONE LAH. Takmu step pandai dengan aku ah.
Boyfriend: Haha! Then do you know what's an omnivore?!
Me: Ya. Eat both plants and meat. A bit obvious right? Herbivore eat plants only, carnivore eat meat... Omnivore eat both lah.
Boyfriend: Nooooo. Mana tau omnivores never eat plants or meat.
Me: If never eat plants, and never eat meat, then eat what?!
Boyfriend: (long pause) ...gula gula.
Hahahahahaha! Fucker nampak sah knew he said the wrong thing the minute he nak step argumentative and protest that "mana tau omnivores never eat plant or meat" !!! He himself admit that he tried to cover his blunder up TETAPI FAIL.
WTF GULA GULA!
And yes, our conversations at 3am almost never will make sense, one.
Current Mood: 
APE JE BUDAK NI TAU
APE JE BUDAK NI TAU08 November 2009 @ 01:08 am
I have been wanting to post these commentaries ever since they were published on 10 & 17 August 2008 but I never got round to it, unfortunately. I recently received an email from a friend containing excerpts from the "Feeling like the least favourite child" commentary, and felt that it would have been better if it is read with the "Race has never been an issue" commentary.
To my Saliheen, these are the two commentaries I was telling you about.
FEELING LIKE THE LEAST FAVOURITE CHILD BY NUR DIANAH SUHAIMI
As a Malay, I’ve always been told that I have to work twice as hard to prove my worth. When I was younger, I always thought of myself as the quintessential Singaporean.
( READ MORE )
RACE HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE BY SAAT A RAHMAN
My parents migrated to Singapore because they wanted a better life. But their lives here did not turn out to be easy. Although my parents have long passed on, their children, including myself, still have to work hard.
( READ MORE )
Truth be told, I felt conflicted when I read both commentaries side by side... and I still am.
Current Mood: CONFLICTED! I FEEL CONFLICTED!
CONFLICTED! I FEEL CONFLICTED!08 November 2009 @ 12:14 am
The Trail's End by Bonnie Parker
You've read the story of Jesse James
of how he lived and died
If you're still in need of something to read
Here's the story of Bonnie and Clyde.
Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow gang
I'm sure you all have read
How they rob and steal and those who squeal
are usually found dying or dead.
There's a lots of untruths to these write-ups
They're not as ruthless as that
Their nature is raw, they hate all the law
The stool pigeons, spotters and rats.
They call them cold-blooded killers
They say they are heartless and mean
But I say this with pride that I once knew Clyde
When he was honest and upright and clean.
But the law fooled around, kept taking him down
and locking him up in a cell
Till he said to me "I'll never be free
so i'll meet a few of them in hell."
The road was so dimly lighted
There were no highway signs to guide
But they made up their minds
if all roads were blind
They wouldn't give up till they died.
The road gets dimmer and dimmer
Sometimes you can hardly see
But it's fight man to man and do all you can
For they know they can never be free.
From heartbreak, some people have suffered
From weariness, some people have died
But take it all in all, our troubles are small
till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.
If a policeman is killed in Dallas
and they have no clue or guide
If they can't find a fiend
They just wipe their slate clean
and hang it on Bonnie and Clyde.
There's two crimes committed in America
not accredited to the Barrow mob
They had no hand in the kidnap demand
Nor in the Kansas City depot job.
A newsboy once said to his buddy
"I wish old Clyde would get jumped.
In these awful hard times, we'd make a few dimes
if five or six cops would get bumped."
The police haven't got the report yet
but Clyde called me up today
He said "Don't start any fights, we aren't working nights,
we're joining the NRA."
From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
is known as the Great Divide
Where the women are kin and the men are men
and they won't "stool" on Bonnie and Clyde.
If they try to act like citizens
and rent them a nice little flat
About the third night, they're invited to fight
by the sub-gun's rat-tat-tat.
They don't think they're too smart or desperate
They know that the law always wins
They're been shot at before and they do not ignore
that death is the wages of sin.
Some day they'll go down together
They'll bury them side by side
To few it's be grief, to the law a relief
but it's death for Bonnie and Clyde.
Thanks to my awesome sister
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ainrette who thoughtfully rented Bonnie & Clyde (1967) for me!As for now, I can only afford to listen to Beyonce and Jay-Z's '03 Bonnie & Clyde on repeat but one day, bbs, I'm going to visit the Bonnie & Clyde Ambush Museum in Gibsland, Louisiana! Oh, and here's a personal favourite Actual Newsreel after Bloody Shootout of Bonnie & Clyde on the actual death scene of the two outlaws. I'm being obsessive, I know, but it's fascinating as hell, damnit.
Now if only someone would be kind enough to get me a Bonnie & Clyde FBI poster mug, the Bonnie & Clyde collectibles from Ebay and all the books in the world about them... :D
On a related note, anyone knows any place that I can go to purchase DVDs of old movies? I can't seem to get enough out of rented ones so I figured I might as well have my own collection.
Now if only someone would be kind enough to get me a Bonnie & Clyde FBI poster mug, the Bonnie & Clyde collectibles from Ebay and all the books in the world about them... :D
On a related note, anyone knows any place that I can go to purchase DVDs of old movies? I can't seem to get enough out of rented ones so I figured I might as well have my own collection.
(P.S. Warren Beatty in 1967 is motherfucking hot.)
Current Mood: 
CAN'T GET ENOUGH!
CAN'T GET ENOUGH!07 November 2009 @ 07:44 pm
There should be an option that says "HELL NO."
Current Mood: 
GAG OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!
GAG OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!07 November 2009 @ 11:41 am
What I selling today is will make your eyes bigger and brighter and the name is the Maxi Eyes SpectroFlex monthly contact lens! Very champion right, the name until got spectro and flex all come out... sound machiam sibeh kilat hor!
See, even the box outside also kilat kilat, one.
( CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR BIGGER AND BRIGHTER EYES! )
Must wear kilat eyes so can see and read my entry better and clearer also.
Next story on the line is my also damn kilat and damn happening awesome Halloween weekend! Ah, inside this story got me wearing the Maxi Eyes SpectroFlex contact lens so can see yourself... (of course I not selling the one that I open and wear already lah) Actually very natural one lah, good for people who when wearing coloured contact lens will look sibeh fake and got ciri ciri hantu... like me!!! So wear this maxi spectro flex stylo milo contact lens can look natural while wearing coloured ontact lens, not like the other colours. Which is why I never wear (other) coloured contact lens again so that i got chance to look normal and not look like hantu anymore (this, coming from the same idiot who wore purple contact lens when she was fourteen!!!)
But guess who I become instead of typical hantu got darah (red paint) drip out from mouth?!
( CLICK HERE FOR THE AWESOME HALLOWEEN WEEKEND! )
Niat hati the next day after Halloween want to go home and become good girl since boyfriend also got exams the next day but all of us wake up hungryz so make plans to go makan at Kallang Leisure Park! Cannot decide where to go at first then Tauhid suggest go eat some Japanese sushi buffet restaurant place... which start at 2.30p.m. when we actually reach there from 1.15 p.m. like that ah. Played at arcade to kill time (satu satu umur budak primary school) before we manage to tuck in!
BEST!!!
Such a feast was also for my boyfriend and I punya one year anniversary :D :D :D
Cuma sial, I turned into Tarzan again near the end of the feast because some people so gelojoh until cannot make it.
(Actually you all see the picture above confirm can know lah who I talking about)
So that's about it lor my Halloween weekend! Damn happening, although I wish we'd take pictures with all the other characters that was roaming around that night, got quite a number of sibeh original ideas leh. The girls all, jangan cakap ah, you agree or not I say that Halloween is just excuse for girls to dress as sluts lor (I think I caught three girls wearing seluardalam nampak pantat within those few hours alone). Aku pun nak pakai macam slut ah next year.
Speaking of next year, actually we all so shiok until planning for next year one already leh!!!
Hahahahaha. Guess what we going as next year????? TELETUBBIES!!!!! Cute not! Cute not!
Hahahahaha. Oklah, I BLUFFING ONLY. We have another confirm chop plus guarantee brilliant idea of what to dress up as for next year but cannot leak out the idea ah, later got people also photocopy and do, no more fun already, idea can bungkus buat sarapan already. The only hint that I can give is that it is also need a group of four :D so in the meantime to mislead people (nak mislead people, tapi siang siang dah declare. logic hancur siol.) we are going to falsely declare that we are going as Teletubbies heh heh heh.
For now, I want to ask this to those who telah join sekaki (those who frown upon such haramness are excluded, obviously, I know you all tengah sembahyang sunat malam tu): How was your Halloween, bbs?! Post a picture of your Halloween costume for your Halloween night inside my comments can or not?! Share lah, I also want to see leh.
Current Mood: YOU SEE ME ROLLIN'
YOU SEE ME ROLLIN'02 November 2009 @ 12:45 pm
MATA ADA HEART HEART31 October 2009 @ 03:03 am
Two more months and the year will finish already! Very fast hor!
Been looking forward to the end of the month since, like, zaman Singapura dilanggar todak lor and it is finally here!!!!! Everything swee swee already of course because GAJI DAH MASUK HEH HEH HEH. Tomorrow have early plans to meet Lisa for a round of manicure, pedicure, haircut, shopping and eyebrow plucking and all the girly mentel things except petik bulu puki before we go party later the night! Exciting stuff! So exciting my bulu also can stand.
Now that the weekend is here, I take this opportunity to story about my weekend last week can or not! I know, I know, I am so hegeh hor, I think if I become newspaper editor confirm fail because today got news, next week only then I will publish. A bit like our local Malay newspaper lah, but our local Malay newspaper a bit advanced because their news kena published not too late lah, only news from two or three days back je, the ones yang all the other newspapers siang siang dah report.
So. What happened last week was that my boyfriend chio me go beach!!! Ok lah, actually original plan was go tanning at Sentosa (For me lah, not boyfriend. You got see my boyfriend before or not?! If he go tanning only, that's it, want to look for him at night kena use torchlight.) But in the end reach until East Coast only, where we bentang our tikar, had some homecooked food, read books, smoked like dragons and talked about life and it was perfect... except that my boyfriend the puteri lilin keep grumbling about the sun and the heat. Dia pikir local beach boleh request for snow ke ape sak.
Absolutely love chillax days with my princess. (Puteri lilin pe)
I love basking in the sun because make my skin until glow :D but my boyfriend very don't like the sun and the heat because he got ciri ciri polar bear berasal dari the Arctic and is more favourite to cold weather / surroundings. Very susah want to relaks with these kind of people in sunny Singapore, you know! Panaslah, rimaslah, ketiak basahlah, then what the fuck you want to do?! Play catching inside your grandmother punya icebox is it.
Another thing that I must mention is that the fucker insist on riding on that double bike thing lah sial. Y'know, the bicycle where must have two people sit?! Kanina, I ask him why must play that bicycle and he say alah, kan romantic. Romantic wak lu. More like memenatkan lor. In the end I stuck to my rollerblades and he rode bicycle which he complain and say the seat is too small for his ass until his jubo hurt and rasa macam nak koyak. Tu lah. People ask you to rollerblade, you don't want. Rollerblading is so much more fun lor, and the jubo will still virgin and intact, one.
It is so much more fun .............until I kena rollerblading accident.
Pukiwak, padahal I have been rollerblading since, like, twelve or something and never fall down rabak before (just a minor slight bump once or twice) but rollerblading with this fucker only, fall down until mencecah bumi kind!!! OK LAH OK LAH. Actually my fault also because I was very cheeky and up to no good and was actually trying to catch him offguard and to forcefully push his bicycle away from the track until he tergolek on the grass patch BUT I fucking forgot this same fucker rides and his reaction is fucking swift maha swift. SO IN THE END, he jerked to steady himself and the bicycle, slammed and knocked into me, and in a desperate bid to steady myself, my blade direction all kena distorted, I got tangled and twisted, and I fucking fell down on my back lor. Can imagine such a pukimak scene or not?!?!?!
Lucky he braked in time also because by the time I was down, my face was at his fucking wheel siol. Baik ah. Other people muka pecah kena langgar lorry, muka aku pecah kena langgar basikal. Insurans tak cover siol.
Busted both shoulders and my left elbow, by the way. That's it, I have the most ugly left elbow in the whole wide world lor! First was the minor bike accident in which aku confident kan, nak belok tak check speed kan, so busted my left elbow the minute I landed on the road... and now this. Tak tau jaga elbows ah ini budak.
The injury don't look rabak... and ya lah, actually not really that rabak also, only thing is that wah, make bathing sibeh torturous leh! The injury is those kecil kecil cili padi kind, one, lor. But injured, injured jugak, still manage to rollerblade all the way to the jetty place at the end to take in the air, atmosphere and each other :)
By the way, nice or not the cap that I wear inside the pictures?!
It is the cap that Boss buy and give me when he come back from his Vietnam trip, which is a huge improvement from some tribal-looking necklace that he got for me when he got come back from an earlier South America tour. And it seems like he is getting better and better at all this bawak balek ole ole thing because guess what he give me when he came back from his recent Hong Kong trip?!?!?!?!?!
My Boss is made of Awesome! (even though he give me something totally haramjat)
Talking about my Boss ah, this year he make it to my Hari Raya open house! (Last year, he couldn't, because of the previously mentioned South America tour) so maybe must put a bit of pictures of when it was still Hari Raya, and my bosses and colleagues come over for food and celebrations! Ibu cooked up an awesome feast as usual, and now my office manager make me give her Ibu's recipe for the sambal udang heh heh heh, maybe, senang senang, I should passing her my recipe for banana walnut muffins also HEH HEH HEH.
No pictures of my bosses and other colleagues because not very nice make them jatuh maruah and saham by appearing their face on my blog yang sial ini hur hur hur. But got picture of one of my colleague's son who is active haram nak mampos. Once, this kementot tried to steal away a bottle of asam from my office desk and tried to make me play cak cak with him from behind one of my office punya meeting room door. Cute ah dia punya expression macam paham.
Actually you know how I don't like little children, right. But must show you this little boy that I like to see very much:-
This 16-year-old little boy is so bloody cute... minta kena ramas ramas!
I know, I know, a bit sick hor (a bit?!) want to ramas ramas a budak 16 years old. But cannot tahan, he is so cute to the jiwa raga. Cannot really see his dimple from here, which is a shame, because his dimple make him sibeh adorable lor. And that's coming from someone who don't even pandang dimples (i.e. ME)!
If I was still 16, I'd fucking marry him lor. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. If I was still 16, I wouldn't be his secret admirer, I wouldn't be his fucking girlfriend, I WOULD FUCKING MARRY HIM LOR. What is wrong with all these 16 years old and below girls nowadays?! Got one boy so cute like that, why never make him a boyfriend!
Serious peh cakap, kalau aku 16 tahun, aku dah grab ini budak, aku tak joke siol. Tapi cannot be a puteri lilin ah.
Hahahahahahahahahaha. FANATIC.
Ok lah, since it is now going to be three in the morning, I better stop being fanatic and get some sleep so can wake up bright and early to meet the best friend forever xoxo for our exciting errands. In the meantime, guess what I going to be for Halloween this year?! (Ok, yes I know, Halloween is fucking haram, has roots from another religion, celebrates kesyaitanan... sorrylah, I just want to play dress up je, niat really tak jahat lah kak). I'm going as.....:Hahahahahahahahahaha. FANATIC.
Kidding! I just wanted an excuse to post a picture of my muka looking very cheebye hahahahaha.
Mana satu lagi mulia eh. Muka looking very cheebye ke, muka kena langgar dengan basikal.
(P.S. Kalau aku tanya mak aku soalan cepu emas ni, confirm dia jawab: DAH BAGUS TU ADA MUKA.)
Current Mood: 
HAPPYTIME!
HAPPYTIME!26 October 2009 @ 08:59 pm
This is an important public announcement: EH WHO WANT TO TRADE MCDONALDS MONOPOLY STICKERS WITH ME?!
I have Robinson Road, River Valley (x2), Holland Road and Marina Bay up for trades.
Would especially appreciate Thomson Road, Tanjong Rhu, Shenton Way or Joo Chiat Road at the moment.
SENTOSA COVE JANGAN CAKAP AH, LU MAU PASSING SAMA GUA KA PA.
Current Mood: 
BOLEH LAH KAK
BOLEH LAH KAK26 October 2009 @ 12:30 am
OK! MY PACKAGE HAS LANDED IN SINGAPORE!
Thanks very many to all the abang abang delivery dari UPS! Now I really can't wait for the end of the month lor :D
Current Mood: THIS ROCKZ MY SOCKZ
THIS ROCKZ MY SOCKZ25 October 2009 @ 11:46 pm
What I made my baby sister do on a Saturday night:
And here's my favourite shot from the whole collection:
(credits to
monchatsplash for absolutely fab photography and zippityoohahh for her nasty stylin')Current Mood: 
SISTER LURP SAMA LU
SISTER LURP SAMA LU25 October 2009 @ 09:28 pm
Me: Girls, girls! If you go to McDonalds anytime soon, help me collect the McDonalds Monopoly stickers ok!
Second Sister: What's that?
Me: It's the new McDonalds Monopoly Promotion. You buy their meals and they'll give you stickers to paste on this piece of Monopoly sheet and you can win prizes if you complete the sections! Damn addictive.
Second Sister: Oh ok.
Third Sister: ..... uh, but where's the dice?
Second Sister: What's that?
Me: It's the new McDonalds Monopoly Promotion. You buy their meals and they'll give you stickers to paste on this piece of Monopoly sheet and you can win prizes if you complete the sections! Damn addictive.
Second Sister: Oh ok.
Third Sister: ..... uh, but where's the dice?
Current Mood: VERY ADDICTED LEH!
VERY ADDICTED LEH!25 October 2009 @ 05:10 am
1) 31 October 2009 Halloween @ Zirca's Last Night in the Asylum
2) 1 November 2009 Blood Donation Drive @ Tampines East Community Centre (Source)
3) 3 November 2009 My Sister's Keeper with
zippityoohahh @ GV Plaza Singapura (Source)
4) 8 November 2009 Fleamarket @ Zouk's Flea & Easy
5) 13 November 2009 Clubbing with the Colleagues @ St James Powerhouse
6) 20 November 2009 MPH Book Sale @ Singapore Expo (Source)
7) 5 December 2009 3 Day 2 Night Shopping Trip with
zippityoohahh @ Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (Source)
8) 12 December 2009 ZoukOut @ Siloso Beach, Sentosa (Source)
Current Mood: 
SO EXCITED, MY HEAD'S ROLLIN'!
SO EXCITED, MY HEAD'S ROLLIN'!24 October 2009 @ 04:10 pm
If I make blog entry about Hari Raya, you all still want to layan me or not.
Oklah, oklah, I make this very chop chop ok?! Anyway nothing much to say about Hari Raya also right, every year also do same thing, visit the same face, eat the same food, complain the same weight gain so nothing new and wow also. So ya lah, here got some pictures from the third (or fourth, i cannot bother to remember one lah) day of Raya with my family. Not many because only visit the usuals on paternal side since the rest all tak penting, one.
Then lepas Raya with family, who else will I go out with hor, if not the fabulous people inside my life?!
First round is the fabulous people that I've been going out jalan raya with for the last ten years of my life.
Got funny super kecoh story at Cikgu Fadzillah's place!
We all happy happy take pictures as usual lor, machiam routine phototaking session kat sekolah lah gitu, when suddenly left Cikgu Fadzilah and Sheikh on the sofa and within seconds, the sofa buckled and crashed to the floor!!!!! Cracked me and everyone else up LIKE MAD LOR. Of course Cikgu Fadzilah in the end until clutch her heart machiam want to pengsan (she should totally teach how students how to act in sandiwara besides teaching them Malay, man) and Sheikh smiling sheepishly in his usual oops-i-did-it-again-heh-heh fashion.
BENGKOK SIOL.
Dah ah, Sheikh. Looks like you no need endure another annual rerun of the famous story of Sheikh and the Peeling Whiteboard anymore already. Next year go Cikgu Fadzillah's house, it will become story of Sheikh Akbari and the Broken Sofa. CONFORM. And confirm next year kena ban from sitting on her sofa already. I suggest you bring your own sofa ah bro.
Is it correct my theory that when jalan raya if don't have pictures of people cramped in lift looking upwards to the camera is memang macam tak sah?!?!?! You go and check your own collection of jalan raya pictures with friends ah, confirm got one which is take like that, one.
And of course, will have one gambar irritating monyet (swinging from a pole).
Cannot remember when or how but I made suggestions for class pictures! But what is confirm is that I suggested at the wrong timing ah, which is why most of us the faces a bit the masai.
First Row: Primary 6/3 Sulina & Syida
Primary 6/7 Aidil, Ashik & Azri
Second Row: Primary 6/8 Sheikh & Dian
Primary 6/9 Ilyas, Muhammad & Erawan
Third Row: Primary 6/10 Nadiah & Faidhi
Primary 6/11 Farhana (& a pink butterfly), Rafhanah & Ellya
GAMBAR SATU SEKOLAH PULAK! :D
One thing I notice is that aassage chairs proof to be very popular during these Raya visits! I think if not wrong three or four of the houses we got go to have the massage chairs and everyone was clambering over each other to use the massage chair lor. Apa maksud. Mentang mentang free, tak yah bayar $1, korang pun free flow ah.
So that was another successful run of jalan raya with the budak budak Primary School :D Sayang maha sayang korang, even though kadang kadang ah, some people ah, pagi pagi already perangai very otak mati, y'know. But sudahlah, like what *P Ramlee got sing in a barn before, buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih, baru teguh peribadi.
*This is P Ramlee singing in a barn, telling you to buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih, baru teguh peribadi.
The next weekend on Saturday went out with the TKGS girls but I don't have hold of pictures, so.
The next day (Sunday) on that same weekend was jalan raya with the awesome Lawmates!
KARTIKA'S MOTHER'S COOKING IS FUCKING AWESOME MENJILAT GIGI.
I don't remember ever praising other people's mother's cooking other than my own mother one so this is a huge deal ok?! Everything was cooked sedap sedap, or in the favourite words of my boyfriend when he thinks the food is ace... GOYANG. So bloody goyang until this fucker ask her mother she cook the hotdogs is from which brand! Then of course got another badut also join in and ask the nuggets use which brand lah, the ayam use which tepung lah, hahahaha. Surprisingly they never ask Kartika's mother which brand of oil she used to cook. Sumpah itu jam jugak aku tuang itu minyak dalam tekak satu satu. Very the no manners.
And of course that's Azrul looking anggun as always HAHAHA A.B.A.N.G. A.R.M.Y. M.Y A.S.S. Oh, and in case you wondering why our hot little Smitha is still never participate inside Miss Vasantham Star, it is because of her inability to KEEP HER EYES OPEN WHEN THERE ARE FLASHING LIGHTS. Very susah nak jaga mata lah ini anak.
EVIDENCE... that my boyfriend is maha hegeh satu universe.
People all ready to take picture already, he still... don't know what he still doing. Aku cakap dia hegeh, tak terima.
Then while waiting for van to come, startlah all the First Lady punya advertisement posing.
And I got tell you all before right, that my boyfriend got fetish for hair, one. Below got picture of him looking at Lisa's hair WITH FULL OF LUST before making attempt to devour her hair (also the same picture which illustrates Lisa's super ability to stay in her favourite kepala senget spot for many frames).
And then it was time to move off... when our van driver Hanni finally arrived with her tak guna van. But I think she a bit regret when she finally arrive to pick us up because MEMBER KENA ABUSE RABAK RABAK SIOL. Very tak baik ah they all. People working halal job to cari rezeki halal, then go and make her day so haram like that.
And ya, the reason why Smitha look very Miss Vasantham Star here is because NO FLASH MAH. So the eyes can open and step all dreamy lah gitu. But of course nothing can beat the star of the moment our Mr McDreamy heh heh heh.
Jalan raya bawa bini empat, babe. Mana mau dapat. Hugh Hefner confirm kasi trophy bentuk konek siol.
Second last picture is him being very manja with his first wife after complaining of nak muntah lah, pening lah, nak terberanak pinak lah, after the trip from Jurong (/Johor) to Bedok. And picture of his awesome first wife (SI HALAL) and second wife (SI HARAM).
(Syaf's place had fruit cocktail mix with jellies!!!!!!!!! Best damn thing in the world to have during raya visits siol.)
OH, WAIT. DID YOU JUST SEE A PICTURE OF PEOPLE CRAMPED IN A LIFT LOOKING UPWARDS.
(And just realised Tauhid and Saliheen striking their amaciam bro *inside joke* pose at the back in group picture)
Next was away to my place... where they pelik how to wash my house punya containers for kueh. I not so concern about how to wash the kueh containers, I am more concern about HOW ORBIT IT IS LOR. I tell Ibu the kueh containers damn obiang and ugly and eyesore and the kueh mueh will die of embarassment being put inside such containers but she refuse to listen lor! Just because her friend is the one that make and decorate the kueh containers on her own and sell, and tak baik if never buy and use. Fail. Then tell your friend don't make until so orbit ah.
Mas Wany came to join us at the last house (which is mine lah) and as usual come into the house like hurricane of the year. Gossip and merepek stories abound... and someway or another, don't know how, actually lead me to showing them the infamous bulu picture that got Lisa and I very the excites at work hahahahaha. I'd put the picture here but very vulgar right, put picture of some cheena punya bulu puki right here on my blog.
Also for those who refuse to believe that my boyfriend is a short fucker (including he himself)... EVIDENCE.
Kimak, that cannot possibly be the length of a 25-year-old adult man sak. That's a bloody dwarf.
Anyway, ya'll got hear the latest news not?! Nenek keropok made a re-appearance and gave my house a visit!!!!!!!!!!!
But now she has become better and improved, because now she wear selendang glamour with sequins and make-up tebal and bawa beg brand 'Manja' (baru dapat endorsement deal ke ape siol)!!!!!!!!! AND CARRY TKGS DOLL ON HER BACK. Hahahahaha, you see lah what this haramjat up to this time, trying to be nenek kerepok who sells kerepok singkong:
Kartika menjelma to become the most-feared nenek in the country this year.
Sumpah my house become pandemonium. And following tradition, we did our "Kami! Dari jurusan undang-undang!" video!!! Even though by right supposed to be "Kami! Bekas dari jurusan undang-undang!" actually, satu satu very no shame, step masih student je. If you want to see the video and is very resourceful, you go and find yourself hor. Not posting here because wah paiseh pe, can hear my cheebye voice!!! I try not to speak much in videos because I sound sibeh cheebye in videos, will only speak when got chaos or other people speaking together with me so won't be heard so much.
Oklah, I think this entry a bit too much already, considering that it is expired from long time ago and even Deevapali come and go already. Got somemore to say but I think I will make another entry for all that lah hor. So that's it ah, what telah happen to me, my family and my friends for Hari Raya this year. Next year jangan lupa kita berhibur lagi.
Oklah, I think this entry a bit too much already, considering that it is expired from long time ago and even Deevapali come and go already. Got somemore to say but I think I will make another entry for all that lah hor. So that's it ah, what telah happen to me, my family and my friends for Hari Raya this year. Next year jangan lupa kita berhibur lagi.
Now is only waiting for Lisa and Adibah to come over because we lead such sad lives after being broke from being a bit too buang duit macam buang air with our advanced salaries mua ha ha ha ha ha. Maybe have a bit of our own fun today, then tomorrow got two weddings to attend! I'm 22 and I have two weddings to attend on a fucking Sunday!
I feel very mak mak who is so fucking kerepot plz.
Oklah, granted, the two weddings is my friends' sisters' weddings and not my friends themselves but still! I also cannot believe that their sisters are getting married also ok, and they only few years above me. Oh, got tell you or not that last week got one Malay wedding downstairs also, and the week before also got one (which is my neighbour's wedding, few years above me too). Betulnya tak sabar nak kahwin pe satu satu. Korang ni pun. Aidilfitri baru saja meninggalkan kita. Tak sempat nak cross over the border pun.
Don't know why suddenly got influx of engagement or wedding invitations when nearing the year end lor. I vaguely remember having one next week, and the week after is another friend's sister's wedding, and vaguely remember also my boyfriend saying got his friend punya wedding or engagement coming up. But it's ok lah. Means everyone is growing up, and so am I, right? Even though I don't know which part of growing up means not bathing yet even though it is almost four in the afternoon already. Hahahahaha, shit. Better go bathe now before my friends come screaming down my bedroom door.
Don't know why suddenly got influx of engagement or wedding invitations when nearing the year end lor. I vaguely remember having one next week, and the week after is another friend's sister's wedding, and vaguely remember also my boyfriend saying got his friend punya wedding or engagement coming up. But it's ok lah. Means everyone is growing up, and so am I, right? Even though I don't know which part of growing up means not bathing yet even though it is almost four in the afternoon already. Hahahahaha, shit. Better go bathe now before my friends come screaming down my bedroom door.
Perangai very budak lima tahun hor. Banyak aku punya dah grow up. And banyak akunya entry chop chop.
Current Mood: 
DAA DEE DUM
DAA DEE DUM23 October 2009 @ 10:52 am
( PELAJAR TAMPIL JADI PENGIKRAR SUMSUM )
Dan sebagai temanita si penderma, saya berancang mengalakkan rakan rakan saya berbuat demikian juga. Heh heh.
Current Mood: 
HEE!
HEE!23 October 2009 @ 01:18 am
10 October 2009 @ 02:20 am
OBSESSED LAH!
26 September 2009 @ 06:23 am
So how much F&N Orange have you tagak and how much duit raya have you collected, kawan-kawan???
For me not much lah. Tahap tagak F&N Orange not much because tak favourite that flavour sangat whereas duit raya as at this moment (not counting the one from the Boss) is zero hahahahaha. Very weird ok when I read posts or tweets about my peers yang sebaya receiving and keeping count of their duit raya! My zaman collect duit free kena override with zaman kasi duit free already lor, because such is what happens when you have regular paycheck by end of each month. Cis.
Ok before I jump the gun, must warning first that I am going to start this off with stories of buka puasa sessions during bulan Ramadhan! Basi gila sampai dah fungi pe. Other people do avalanche of Raya pictures then I over here still terkedek kedek want to post pictures and give stories from zaman dinosaur siol.
Anyway, this zaman dinosaur ago, went out for buka session at Far East's Sakura with the Lawmates after work! Since we were at town, it was decided that we go to tempat ada class sikit which is the newly-opened Ion Orchard but sayangnya tempat ada class pun, we behave like macam no class already!!! Where to put face when full-time working adults start jumping jumping and pulling hair in front of Giorgio Armani boutique right?!
The whole idea was kononnya it was a face-off between the girls of H.O.H (Kartike and Syaf) and girls of P.T.A (Lisa and I) ah hahahaha takkan we want to face off against the boys of the A.R.M.Y who were in our presence that night kan! Where can lawan tauke, babe. The only thing that the girls can lawan the boys is that we are damn shameless lor. (I used to consider Azrul Asmara as one of the girls but since he run off to National Service now kena force to certify him as a boy already.)
But as shameless as we all are also, we still got show our adult side lor... which is to talk about future plans and pending marriages!!! This is also the night that I was educated by them that halal spouses can actually fuck during Ramadhan, it's just that must fuck at night only. Cibai! All these time I thought the whole of Ramadhan cannot even fuck lor! Someone made sial comment - suspect kuat Kartika, because she always give sial comments, one... if not her then must be Lisa whose mulut is takde insurance coverage - ah that's it, lepas ni malam dah tau dah kau pergi buat ape dengan Saliheen hahahahahahaha STEP AKU AND DIA HALAL SPOUSES JE.
Very no manners, nyah. Padahal after finish lepak with them I go and meet that budak Saliheen at Al-Falah mosque after he finish his terawih prayers sak. Kesian budak tak bersalah tu. He busy doing the right tonggang tonggek, you all accuse him of doing the wrong tonggang tonggek pulak. Dosa! Must sujud at the kaki and ask for forgiveness! Hahahahaha.
Next one that must also story is the buka puasa session with the Primary School People at Simpang Bedok! As you can see from the start of the pictures that I become very bosan while waiting for Faidhi to come pick me up. That one ah, his timing cannot be trusted, one. If he tell you he coming out already, please be warned that it never means that he is coming out of the house, one. It means that he is coming out of THE TOILET ONLY. Really!!! Never bluff!!!
But as shameless as we all are also, we still got show our adult side lor... which is to talk about future plans and pending marriages!!! This is also the night that I was educated by them that halal spouses can actually fuck during Ramadhan, it's just that must fuck at night only. Cibai! All these time I thought the whole of Ramadhan cannot even fuck lor! Someone made sial comment - suspect kuat Kartika, because she always give sial comments, one... if not her then must be Lisa whose mulut is takde insurance coverage - ah that's it, lepas ni malam dah tau dah kau pergi buat ape dengan Saliheen hahahahahahaha STEP AKU AND DIA HALAL SPOUSES JE.
Very no manners, nyah. Padahal after finish lepak with them I go and meet that budak Saliheen at Al-Falah mosque after he finish his terawih prayers sak. Kesian budak tak bersalah tu. He busy doing the right tonggang tonggek, you all accuse him of doing the wrong tonggang tonggek pulak. Dosa! Must sujud at the kaki and ask for forgiveness! Hahahahaha.
Next one that must also story is the buka puasa session with the Primary School People at Simpang Bedok! As you can see from the start of the pictures that I become very bosan while waiting for Faidhi to come pick me up. That one ah, his timing cannot be trusted, one. If he tell you he coming out already, please be warned that it never means that he is coming out of the house, one. It means that he is coming out of THE TOILET ONLY. Really!!! Never bluff!!!
Tapi yang penting, annoying hor my face when I want to follow other people's style and try to step cute.
If you wondering why in one of the pictures, I machiam using my hand to cover my arm, it's because itu arm pakai untuk wrestling, babe. Cannot anyhow showcase, one. Hahaha ya, anyway so we start makan after timing to break fast start, while waiting for a few others who suspect kuat ikut timing negeri Arab to buka puasa. Then after that was apa lagi if not to the Cash Studio across the street! Untuk karaoke ah what else, takkanlah menjalankan terawih siap dengan microphone siol.
ABANG AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (as how Sheikh shrieked)
Haha! Oh, besides crooning to the classics of Abang Amy and his gang, we also sing Hari Raya songs ok! To get the feel lah kononnya. Although I am still sore that thoroughout the fasting month and also now that it is Raya, I still never hear my favourite Raya song come out on the radio. Ala, that one that mention Muthusamy inside lah. Something like, Selamat! Selamat! Hari Raya! Hari Raya! Selamat! Selamat! Aidilfitriii...
Disappointing :( Also disappointing is the fact that the group picture of the night is FAIL. Mua ha ha.
You know what else is fail or not??? The fact that my sisters and I share the same blood but our faces totally different from one another leh!!! I am actually the kind who likes siblings who look the same but very suay, my own siblings both never really look like me. Got a joke in the family that my second sister Farahin is actually should be born in India whereas my third sister Fazlin is should be born in Japan. As for me, ala, biasalah, you look at the hair colour only you know I actually should be born in United States of America.
I joking! Relaks ah.
It is the morning of the first Raya day for this year was when I again realise how different we all can really look. First thing when I enter their bedroom while they getting ready with their baju raya was that I actually exclaimed "Wah!!! Bbs!!! You look like a mermaid!!!". Very sian. My sisters look like ikan duyung while I look like ikan paus. Sama tapi tak serupa.
I know my kain singkat looks weird but it is actually ok lah, tak mengembang like how it looks like in the picture.
Better than when it was first collected ok! The workmanship was sibeh terrible! And don't know how to listen to my request for a kain singkat is it. It came back long and damn labuh mencecah bumi! Seriously lor. If I wanted to sweep the fucking floor, I'd use a fucking broom lor. (Not a vacuum cleaner please, the vacuum cleaner and me... we just cannot kamcheng ho, you know?) In the end I throw a bitch fit and send back to repair all the errors and when it came back still never meet expectations!!! (To think that a generally fuss-free person who has very average expectations of things like this like me is actually complaining about it!) Please tell me where in the world got kain singkat that pakai with kebaya is made kembang macam mushroom??? Heng ah Ibu alter it for me on the eve of Raya. Siapa mau layan pakai mushroom and jalan raya.
First day of Raya visiting for my family usually very boring, one, lah. Every year also same route, same houses, same faces which only see once a year. Lucky I have my 'Bomberman' game on PSP and my 'How to Kill - The Definitive History of the Assassin" book to keep me company! Haha! Ya! I know! Very sundal right go Raya visiting with a book that is titled like that?! Not in the festive spirit langsung. Dahlah main game PSP yang kena ignite bomb.
Second day usually better because we try to go together with as many families (from maternal side) as possible and pack in as many houses (and rendangs and kueh tarts) as we can. My second day of Raya this year is especially sweet because the day start off with my sweetheart boy Shah Indra... still in his baru bangun tidur state and baju tidur.
Cuba aku yang in baju tidur when people come to my house to visit. That's it. Tiada maaf bagi mu lagi.
Look at him very menyampah right!!! He was actually metres away from me but when he see already that I take out my digicam and aim at him, he fucking brisk-crawled to the front of my digicam lah sak. BRISK-CRAWLED LEH. Sumpah the speed like F1 racing car. (Yelah, dengar dengar F1 racing car brisk-crawl pe.) Mentel hor! Look at him go hamming up for the camera! Siap with the ceria merdeka pose. Luckily ketiak shave.
Ok enough eh, this is story about Raya visiting, not the biography of Shah Indra the Superbaby.
Ya! I know all the pictures still have his face terpampang inside!
Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttt
Declared Busu's place as last house because even the most perkiest of babies will pancit by end of the night.
My annual cita cita to boriah same colour with Ibu and my sisters musnah because Ibu decided to go colour-blind this year. I remember she got say that the colour of our baju is the same but only different shade. Different shade kebabai!!! Pink and orange are two entirely separate colours siol. Arts & Crafts fail ke ape ini orang tua?!
But bo pian, what to do. By the way, have told you all or not that my cousin Khadijah is bleeding pregnant?!
PREG-FUCKING-NANT. My cousin! Pregnant! My cousin who grew up alongside with me! My cousin who took pictures while in pampers with me when we were younger! This is beyond astonishing leh.
But at least we will have a new baby in the family soon lah hor, so can take the limelight off Shah Indra for awhile. But I doubt it lor, because that budak tak padan kecik, he is very attention-seeking until I not surprised if the limelight will still be on him lor. Somemore he is still not talking and not really walking!!! Actually one year old already should be able to progress to talking and walking right?! This one like never, leh. My aunt and Ibu saying that maybe he follow me in the sense that start walking at very late stage (I started walking when I was a year plus... Ibu say I was damn pemalas haram when it come to walking. Which explains why I am the most pemalas haram fucker around who will complain against the whole world when she needs to walk even for a bit lor hahaha) BUT how come he still not talking, one.
I might have taken slower to walking but Ibu tell me that I start talking very early on and was a becok fucker who very talk a lot. (My favourite part when Ibu starts reminiscing about my baby / toddler days is when she say she was damn shocked to the core when I started reading off subtitles on the TV when I was three years plus which is way before I start to go to school - my parents never believe in nursery so I only went to school from K1 onwards - I mean! Wah! Impressive pe! Kecik kecik so genius. Now besar panjang already, genius don't know go where, I also don't know go where)
Ok what the hell I talking??? This is story about Hari Raya 2009 or Farhana Malek 1991???
Sorry, geng. Becok fucker who very talk a lot memang like this one. Not relevant also make machiam damn relevant like that. Anyway, I finish story about my second day of Hari Raya already ah actually, so now is story of my third day of Hari Raya! I was on leave, thinking got time to sleep the whole day at home, but Ibu make us all go our for Raya visiting so that can chop chop cover all the relatives' houses. Wahlau, very leceh ah all these mothers during Hari Raya season...
The last shot of Farahin and I with our best buck teeth forward is dedicate to our youngest sister Fazlin actually!!! You don't know ah that we always disturb her for her humongous teeth?! Kalah hantu gigi, dok. We make fun of her in that picture and taunt her because on this day she abandon us and became a traitor... because she insist want to sit in front and hog more of the aircon, when it is supposed to be the unspoken rule that the three of us must be sitting at the back! Together! TRAITOR. In the end dah bored, main PSP. Barang anti-social pleeeaaassssseee.
Very cute hor the three brothers??? The eldest brother very advanced, one. When we come his house and I go see what he is doing, he was actually watching videos on Youtube leh!!! Children nowadays proving to be more impressive lor. The second brother pulak make me pancit almost immediately, trying to catch up with him running and jumping around the house while shrieking like a freaking girl. The last one jugak best. Still a quiet baby. When take picture only, tak banyak songeh, only give muka anjat boy-boy. Hahahahaha! Actually ah, I think he look a bit like my boyfriend when he was a baby leh. A bit ah. Not entirely the same but macam got mirip.
No, meh??? I mean... look at their same tangan 'lontong', at least!
I'd show other baby pictures of my boyfriend for comparison but unfortunately in pictures, it seems like when he baby, his mouth always open leh so a bit off. If you don't believe me (that his mouth always open), can come check yourself.
Cheh!!! No wonder until now also his mouth cannot keep it shut, one!!!!!
Eh alamak, this is Hari Raya 2009 entry or Saliheen's Baby Pictures Album ni?!
Back to Hari Raya! In case you also wondering how come I put up pictures of blurry shots from an old TV show called Pantas Pintas on Suria channel, it is because at one of the house that we visit, it was showing on TV and it is inside that episode that my sister Farahin was part of the audience and her face keep on popping on screen lor!!! Lepak pe.
Sayangnya, only get the idea of try take picture of her face in the TV show only when towards in the ending so in the end never get a clear close-up shot that was in abudance thoroughout the show. Biasalah. Aku kan memang last minute worker. The other shot pulak is one of her good friend who same name as me, who attend that episode with my sister also. Famous pe... Muka keluar bila time credits rolling seh...
Eh. Talk about credits rolling! I think ah, if this blog entry is a TV show episode ah, now is about time it will let the credits roll because a bit too much already right the length of the contents??? But ok lah kan, sekali sekala you take half of your life to read a blog entry. Somemore not just a normal blog entry about my Hari Raya ok, it is also a biography (of Shah Indra), the history of my talking skills and also a baby pictures album (of Saliheen). Three-in-one, geng.
But still, better finish up because now slightly after 6.00 a.m. Other people wake up to pray and start the day, I just about to go and sleep after write panjang menjeler blog entry which is actually not very penting also.
Sayangnya, only get the idea of try take picture of her face in the TV show only when towards in the ending so in the end never get a clear close-up shot that was in abudance thoroughout the show. Biasalah. Aku kan memang last minute worker. The other shot pulak is one of her good friend who same name as me, who attend that episode with my sister also. Famous pe... Muka keluar bila time credits rolling seh...
Eh. Talk about credits rolling! I think ah, if this blog entry is a TV show episode ah, now is about time it will let the credits roll because a bit too much already right the length of the contents??? But ok lah kan, sekali sekala you take half of your life to read a blog entry. Somemore not just a normal blog entry about my Hari Raya ok, it is also a biography (of Shah Indra), the history of my talking skills and also a baby pictures album (of Saliheen). Three-in-one, geng.
But still, better finish up because now slightly after 6.00 a.m. Other people wake up to pray and start the day, I just about to go and sleep after write panjang menjeler blog entry which is actually not very penting also.
Nampak sah priorities aku letak kat dalam jubo sak.
Oh, and sorry never put a long entry into a cut. Barang baik ni. Mana boleh cut cut.
Oh, and sorry never put a long entry into a cut. Barang baik ni. Mana boleh cut cut.
Current Mood: 
STARTING TO BE A BIT SLEEPY
STARTING TO BE A BIT SLEEPY24 September 2009 @ 01:10 am
In case you forget how I look like (on normal days):
P.S. I've enough stories to fill a fucking baldi but no time to put inside blog lor. If you got extra time, plz donate.
P.S. I've enough stories to fill a fucking baldi but no time to put inside blog lor. If you got extra time, plz donate.
Current Mood: BZ LIKE A BEE
BZ LIKE A BEE13 September 2009 @ 03:02 pm
Earlier this morning, my boyfriend decided to give me a teka-teki.
BF: Ada satu kebun buah ni, ada banyak buah ah. Satu hari, kebun buah ni semua habis terbakar... cuma dua buah je tak terbakar. Buah ape yang tak terbakar?
Me: Buah durian.
BF: Tak!
Me: Buah pe'lir!!!
BF: Bukan lah!
(after three minutes of random guesses which turned out to be wrong, or so he says)
Me: Mm... buah cempedak?
BF: EH! Betul! Macam mana you tau ni! Buah lagi satu yang tak terbakar?
Me: Buah pisang?!
BF: Eh!!! Betul!!! You pandai seh! Tapi kenapa buah cempedak and buah pisang???
Me: Mm... sebab dorang kat dalam kuali???
BF: No... Salah...
Me: Oh. Is it because the buah cempedak is kat luar pagar?
BF: HAHAHAHA!!! Eh betul! Macam mana you tau ni!
Me: Oh I get it! Budak cempedak di luar pagar!
BF: Ya! Then the buah pisang kenapa tak terbakar?
Me: Mmm... let me think... mm...
BF:................
Me: OH! I KNOW! Is it because the pisang emas dibawa belayar?!
BF: EH YA!!!!!!!!!! HOW YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahaha. In case you didn't get it, you deprived of your childhood or what??? I told my boyfriend that this teka-teki will obviously work only if the other person know Malay pantuns from the old times, like the cempedak and pisang ones:
THE CEMPEDAK PANTUN
Buah cempedak di luar pagar
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Saya budak baru belajar
Kalau salah tolong tunjukkan
THE PISANG PANTUN
Pisang emas dibawa belayar
Masak sebiji di atas peti
Hutang emas boleh dibayar
Hutang budi dibawa mati
And as you can see (and my sisters and boyfriend will also say) I think I can be considered worst person to give teka-teki to, lor. Usually kan the fun part of giving teka-teki is making people confused then in the end they give up,so you can reveal the answer and make the other people all go WHY I NEVER THINK OF THAT HA HA HA?! Most times, you won't get that from me hor. I am the kind you give me a teka-teki, I refuse to give up and will scold you upside down if you on purpose tell me the answer even though I tell you already the I will never give up!!!
My sisters have declared that I am the most bosan person to give teka-teki to, because I never give up and someway or another I will find the answer. Hahahahahaha. (Oh, did you know it take me weeks to figure out the Fuzzy Wuzzy teka-teki by the way?! Sumpah annoying because that's the longest time that I got take to figure a teka-teki out, but I was so bloody puas hati when I figured it out on my own lor.) Boyfriend says I'm too tenacious when it comes to teka-teki, and he is damn amazed everytime I manage to figure one out, no matter how merepek or far-fetched it is or how long it takes me.
(In case you wondering how I figured out the cempedak and pisang one above, my train of thoughts went like this:
api > tebakar > buah kena goreng pakai api > which buah can kena goreng? > cempedak
what is another buah that usually will be goreng? > pisang
if the buah never kena terbakar, must be they are outside the kebun > if the kebun has a pagar >
then the buah must be luar pagar
that malay pantun about cempedak > buah cempadak di luar pagar > oh! the cempedak never terbakar because it's luar pagar
what's the malay pantun that has buah pisang in it > pisang emas di bawa belayar > oh! the pisang never terbakar because dibawa belayar)
I know lor, my train of thoughts very weird and twisted one hor?! And since I always think too much, one...
Me: Eh why the buah cempedak di luar pagar then must use galah to jolok???
BF: Ah?
Me: Ya lah. The buah cempedak luar pagar, can just go outside the pagar and pick up the buah cempedak, what. Why must until use the galah to jolok, one?!
Hahahahaha WHAT. Doesn't it make you wonder???
One point of time I insisted on remembering a well-known pantun:
One point of time I insisted on remembering a well-known pantun:
Me: Ala, that pantun lah! Got Malay and English versions one!
BF: Which one I don't know lah!
Me: The one got burung gagak, and got put the thumb inside the pie.
BF: WTF?! Put thumb inside the pie?! That sounds sick lor.
Me: What sick?! Focus lah. Which pantun got the burung gagak or something like that...
BF: Buruuunggg gagakkk tuaaa...
Me: Bukan lah!!! Hmmm...
BF: .....................
Me: OH I KNOW!!! It's the Lagu Tiga Kupang!!!
BF: What is that?!
Me: Ala, that one lah. Lagu tiga kupang, saku penuh padi, enam ekor burung, masuk dalam kuali! Bila sudah masak, burung nyanyi saja, tentu sedap makan, beri pada raja!
BF: Oh! That one I think I got hear before.
Me: Ya... Eh why the burung all masuk dalam kuali and kena masak already but still can nyanyi one?!?!
BF: Hahahaha. Maybe the sizzling sound of the oil they refer to as "the birds singing".
Me: Tak ah, cannot be. Oh!!! EH! I remember the English version one already!!!
BF: Which one?
Me: Sing a Song of Sixpence!!! Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye, four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie!
BF: Oh, that one ah...
Me: Aiyah, no wonder I remember burung gagak and thumb inside the pie all... the English version got blackbirds and got pie, one.
BF: ... eh the thumb inside the pie is damn sick leh.
Me: Apa seh!!! Eh, but how come I machiam remember got one is put the thumb inside the pie leh.
BF: It's sick!!!
Me: OH!!! I KNOW WHICH ONE!!! It's that... Little Jack Horner! Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, eating his Christmas pie, he put in his thumb and pulled out a plum, and said what a good boy am I!
BF: Wtf. Must be got some sexual connotation behind it. Putting thumb inside pie all...
Me: Aiyah, it's just that our minds now corrupted already, that's why we think until like that. How about that This Old Man one?! The... This old man, he played one, he played knick knack on my tongue, with a knick knack paddy whack, give a dog a bone, this one man came rolling home.
BF: THERE!!! Why got KNICK KNACK PADDY WACK all come out. Must be about sex.
Aisehman... our talk cock is really very talk cock or what.
And as usual, from all our conversations, no matter small cock or big cock, I will try to do some searching and bb, what I found out about This Old Man is here! Tak bersalah sak itu nursery rhyme kena accuse ada sexual connotation. So after that, that's it ah, I went on a origins of nursery rhymes research frenzy. FRENZY, I TELL YOU. I even found the origins for Little Jack Horner yang boyfriend aku cakap sick sebab dia letak his thumb into the pie tu, which is here and here.
Then I remembered reading somewhere before that nursery rhymes, even though usually people give innocent young children to learn and sing, actually got different meaning or satire or historical and political background behind it one! So I start with the one that I remember reading about before in The Secret Garden storybook, which is the nursery rhyme Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, and the background story is here and here.
You know, this is one of things I love about having Saliheen as my boyfriend.
He always gives me the most random merepek comments or jokes ever (in this case, the teka-teki triggered all of this) and it will lead to me reading up on things and trying to figure them out because terlalu curious nak mampos and otak will always pikir macam macam, one, and he will also in the end tolong to tokok tambah.
Next mission is to find out the origin and maksud for Enjet enjet Semut ("enjet enjet semut, siapa sakit naik atas"... my boyfriend insists it's about sex - referring to street malay slang that "sakit" is be horny, and "naik atas" to go on top of a man or woman when you are "sakit". very setan. who is the sick one now, B, you or Little Jack Horner ni?!?!?!) and the makna and sejarah behind all the other Malay pantuns, if have!!!
Especially why the buah cempedak luar pagar but must use galah to jolok.
Cannot just go out of the pagar and pick up the cempedak meh?!
Cannot just go out of the pagar and pick up the cempedak meh?!
Current Mood: ACTUALLY QUITE KELAKAR AH
ACTUALLY QUITE KELAKAR AH